Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and cringed at the image of yourself? If you are guilty of this practice then I would advise you to stop. If you are not happy with yourself, it indicates that you are having no confidence of yourself. If you lack confidence in yourself, how then do you expect others to have confidence in you?

Most people would admit that they would like to be more confident, more at ease with themselves. We want to be able to handle or be comfortable in any situation.

When we go to work, we want to fulfil our potential and not be held back by any feelings of inferiority. We want to be able to go to meetings and contribute as much as anyone else. We would like to feel at ease with ourselves, our colleagues and superiors.

If we go to a party or any social event, we want to enjoy ourselves without embarrassment. We want self-assurance and self-reliance. We want to feel confident.

Confidence has a lot to do with our relationships with other people. We don’t want to feel inferior to anyone. We don’t want to be bullied by anyone. We want to be able to walk into any roomful of people and feel that we are just as good as any of them and know that we are just as good as any of them.

Perhaps this is all very obvious. Of course we all want these things. Yet, wanting something and having it is very different. First of all, we have to understand that confidence can be gained if we try. However, nobody can become super confident overnight. It takes time to become confident but it is undeniable that everyone can be confident if they try.

The first step in becoming more confident is to accept and like yourself. Make a list of all your positive traits and strengths on a piece of paper or in your diary. By doing this, you are reminding yourself that you too have worthy qualities like others. You will realise that you are not as bad or as inferior as you thought you were and will begin to like yourself more and feel more confident about yourself.

Whether it is for an interview or for a presentation, tell yourself that you can do it. Motivate yourself each day and soon you will find your confidence level growing. A useful way to motivate yourself is to make a list of at least four things that you did well each day.

Some people always have a fear that they can never be successful in anything they do. Such insecurity will be a disadvantage and would cause you to lack confidence in yourself and in everything that you do in your life. So in order for you to get rid of this fear you have to remind yourself that if you haven’t try something you can never say that you will fail in it. Be positive and try things without any fear or insecurity. For example, at work your boss asks you to head a team but you fear that you will make a mess out of it. Such a fear will prevent you from taking on that task. But if you were a confident person you wouldn’t think twice about failing and would gladly take on that task. A lack of confidence, in this case, could affect your career.

If you are always crying over the mistakes that you made in your life, you will never get anywhere. Always remember that past mistakes and failures cannot be reversed and what’s done is done. Thus, it is no use crying over spilt milk. A confident individual always looks past those failures. After all, failures are just part and parcel of becoming successful. If you failed once, you should take that failure as a learning lesson and not as a burden.

Confidence is really about trusting yourself. Trust that you will follow your intuition, your hunches and your rational fears. Trust that you will allow yourself the time to grow personally and to become confident as and when you are ready. Trust that you can handle any task with practice, patience and perseverance. Trust that you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to with confidence.

Always remember this: The key to success is always in your own hands!